How funny it is that so many people have so much problem in saying ‘no’. Why is it, do you think? 

Perhaps it’s because they don’t want to let people down. It comes ultimately from fear - that if they let someone down, then they won’t be trusted again; or they will be judged as somehow a failure. 

Maybe it’s because of that fear of failure - that saying no to something is the same as saying ‘I can’t’. 

Or perhaps it is from pride. They seriously believe that they can do absolutely anything and everything they are asked. 

Some have a genuine desire to serve, and so relish every request from another person, no matter what it is. ‘Let me at it’ is their call, desiring only to give it a go. 

Whatever the reason or motivation behind it, it’s something that needs to stop. Everyone needs to know when to say ‘no’. Here are some of the dangers to not saying no - 

1. you get over worked. You do everything that’s asked of you, and that can be alot. You get tired and grumpy. 
2. you don’t perform to your best. You know the score - when you’re stressed or doing too much, mistakes happen or things get missed. That failure you were so afraid of becomes more likely. 
3. Your time is misused. There are things that you’re naturally good at, where you excel. But when you’re running around doing everything, you don’t play to your strengths. You do twenty things to a mediocre standard, when you could be doing 2 or 3 to a high standard. 
4. Important priorities get missed. By this I mean those areas that aren’t asking for your help. It might be that you neglect your own home because you’re busy looking after someone else’s. Or you don’t spend enough time with your family because your always off helping someone else. 
5. You prevent someone else from excelling. Listen - you’re not the only one who can do things! While you’re doing a job that you’re ok at, just because you were the first person to be asked, someone who has the particular skill and gifting to do that job well isn’t doing it! 
6. Some people just keep asking you to do things. They know you’re a ‘yes’ person, so they take advantage of you. They don’t necessarily mean to, they just know you’re someone they can ‘depend on’. But it’s not a good thing - it means they’re not finding out other people who can also help, spreading the load, because it’s too easy just to ask you. 
7. You’ll come to resent it. No matter how cheery a servant you are at the start, keep giving in the wrong areas for the wrong reasons without giving yourself a break, and you’ll start to resent that you’re always the one they ask. 
8. On the other hand - some people will stop asking you altogether. These are the people who have noticed that you’re a ‘yes’ man. They know that whatever they ask of you, you’ll do. But that means that you’ll do it even if you shouldn’t, or that you’ll do it and resent it. They won’t ask you because they can’t trust you to say ‘no’ if necessary.
9. You give other people a get out clause to not help. ‘I don’t need to, because Joe will do it’. It’s not a good attitude to encourage! There will always be those people who could help but don’t. It’s tempting for the serial ‘yes’ man to step in to fill the gap. While that sometimes may be necessary - consider that filling the gap means that they don’t see the consequences of their not helping. Sometimes leaving a gap encourages someone else to start being a gap filler too. 

My friends, it’s a good thing to say ‘no’ - when it’s for the right reasons. You’re too busy, you’re not skilled in that area, you are putting other areas of service a higher priority, you know there’s someone else who’ll do it better. Saying no to request A in order to free you up to respond positively to request X. It doesn’t mean you stop helping others, and it doesn’t mean you are failing. It means you’re considering carefully where and when are the right areas to help others. 

I’m not advocating you say ‘no’ to everything - we need people who are willing to jump in and help others, to serve. But we need people who are serving from a right attitude, with a sober judgement of their skills, and who are careful to guard themselves from abuse. We need people who are willing to say ‘no’ where it’s appropriate. If you learn that skill - you will become a far more valuable servant.